


i found home within you

by chaoticgay (Niriiun)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Abuse Mentions, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 00:18:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14800709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niriiun/pseuds/chaoticgay
Summary: Changbin's an Uber driver trying his best to survive. Felix is a damaged soul with a broken heart.





	i found home within you

**Author's Note:**

> a bitter sweet changlix au i wanted to write featuring changbin as an uber driver and felix as his passenger  
> changbin speaks english for convenience of this au   
> changbin is 22 and felix is 20 in this ! 
> 
> also not beta'd bc i'm lazy and really don't care i'm sorry,,

Changbin had been through a lot in his last twenty two years of life. He was an old soul in a young body, spending most of his time in situations that never suited him. Where his parents wanted a law student, Changbin wanted to do nothing more than become a rapper. (He was damn good at it but they were good at not caring.) Becoming a problem child really shouldn’t have been a surprise. Changbin worked as an underground rapper for two years before gathering enough money to purchase a shitty car and start life on his own at the ripe age of eighteen, back when you think you know everything and life is at least sort of simple. He packed two bags and never looked back.

Changbin skipped college. Not that he could’ve afforded it anyway. His parents offered of course, under the condition that he quit rapping and become the lawyer they always wanted. That garnered them two middle fingers and a change in number. One of his close friends offered him a room at their place, and from there Changbin began the next stage of his life. Through his rapping, he gained quite the reputation throughout the city. Being booked at various venues had its perks but Changbin still fell a bit short on rent. And food, but that was a whole other problem. 

Thus, to combat that, Changbin decided to use his shitty car to become an Uber driver. An excellent plan, since he really didn’t care where the extra money came from. Besides, driving was easier than standing for hours in a hot store anyway. Through said job, however, Changbin learned quite a bit about people he never thought he’d meet. Hanging out in clubs hadn’t really prepared him for  _ everything _ despite what everyone seemed to think. 

Like the one time a lady in labor needed a ride. Or the guy who smelled like he rolled in beef stew. Then there was the one couple who only spoke one word each of a sentence. Trying to converse with them was a nightmare. Changbin refused to even talk about the  _ chipmunk incident _ ; that one still haunted his dreams.

They were, in all honesty, nothing compared to how that night went. It happened on a cool Friday in late August, when he was in a particularly bad spot and hadn’t eaten in three days.

Changbin glanced at his phone as a new notification popped up. He was currently driving his latest rider home. It was prime  _ heading home from the bar  _ hours and for someone who was a late night type anyway, it was often easy money. This one though … Changbin squinted at it as he tried to make sense of the numbers on his screen. His GPS indicated the destination for his current charge and he momentarily looked away to pull up to it. The drunken man in the passenger seat took his sweet time getting out, of course, but eventually stumbled on his way. He turned his attention back to the phone screen; the previous notification was still there. Which meant no one had picked it up yet.

Staring at the notification, Changbin understood why.

The rider was requesting location almost three hours away. It was a long drive, and that reflected in the price displayed on his screen, nearly two hundred for one way. Changbin narrowed his eyes a bit, weighing everything. He didn’t have a bedtime. He was an adult. It wouldn’t take that much gas, and he’d still come out with a profit. His finger tapped the confirm button before he could rethink it. 

The phone screen went blank for a moment. Several seconds passed before his GPS seemed to calculate just where the pick up location was. He understood why it was a bit of a struggle. The location was an old abandoned restaurant, long taken off usual maps and forgotten with the times; his family used to frequent it when he was younger. Changbin cringed at the memory and drove off to meet whoever was wild enough for a two hundred dollar ride. 

Changbin was surprised to see the building still standing. It was dull and lit by a single streetlight, which had seen better days and was so dim it was essentially useless. Even from the road he could see the faded paint. A weird nostalgic feeling crept over him at seeing it again, but Changbin easily chased it away. All of his attention was focused on the person sitting against the old building. Considering no one else seemed wild enough to be there, he assumed they were the one he was picking up. Changbin really hoped he wasn’t being lured into a mess.

As he pulled up, his rider rose to his feet. He came to a stop a few steps away from them before putting his car in park. Changbin offered a wave and reached over to pop the door open. The stranger was clutching a single ragged backpack, and his first view of any of his features happened to be his bruised knuckles. The life he led had taught him a thing or two about bruising, and he could tell they were fresh. Changbin stared at the damaged skin for a moment as they settled into the seat and shut the door. His fingers gripped the steering wheel tighter.

“Hello,” he glanced at his phone, “Felix? I’m Changbin and I’ll be your driver tonight. Are you aware that your location is pretty far away? You’re not under the influence?” It was standard procedure, and honestly it felt more robotic than he liked.

His rider looked at him, and Changbin felt his blood run cold. The man had dirty blonde hair, bruises scattered around his pretty face, and puffy eyes that were no doubt brimming with tears moments before. A bit of blood remained in the left corner of his mouth, the redness there an indication of the split lip hiding in shadows. It wasn’t an uncommon sight but … he’d never seen someone this bad before. Felix nodded in response. “S-sorry. Korean is bad. Haven’t been drinking.”

His voice was deep. It caught him off guard, and for a moment he wondered if he should go through with this ride. There could be any sort of story behind the bruises on his cheeks. Despite that, he knew he couldn’t refuse; he’d been there once. Rock bottom with no one to turn to. He understood more than he was willing to admit. 

Changbin swallowed, steeling himself against the surge of feelings in his chest. “I can speak English if that’s easier.”

Felix sagged into the seat, looking visibly relieved. “Oh thank goodness. I was hoping I could find a driver.” His hands were shaking. He was still clinging tightly to the dirty backpack that looked too deflated to really have anything in it. “I’m serious about the ride. I … I need to go.” Felix had an accent that he couldn’t quite place and it took him a few seconds of staring to process what he said.

Changbin forced himself to look back to his phone, reaching out to confirm the route. “Okay, I can do that.” He shifted his car into drive and went to exit the parking lot. “Feel free to mess with the radio. There’s water and pain meds in the glove department, as well as a bit of candy if you’re hungry. I ran out of chips earlier, sorry about that.” Changbin was glad he’d decided to learn English for this job. This moment was the first he’d used it, but it probably wouldn’t be the last.

A bit of movement signified Felix reaching for the glove compartment. Changbin hoped it was for water, and spared a glance at what he pulled out as he turned onto the road; it was. “Thank you. Don’t worry about the chips. I really needed a drink though.” 

“Happy to help.” Changbin went quiet for a moment as the GPS told him to take a right turn. It was leading him to one of the highways. “You can put your bag in the backseat too if you’d like. We’ll be driving for a while.” He heard shuffling and glanced over; the bag had been clutched tighter. Okay, that was a big no. Maybe he needed something to cling to? Changbin couldn’t blame him.

“I’m fine with holding it.” 

A hand reached out to fiddle with the radio. Underneath the scattered streetlights, he caught sight of bruised knuckles once more. Felix’s hands were shaking quite a bit but Changbin didn’t comment. It wasn’t his place, really, even though he wanted to ask just to make sure he was alright. Actually, that was a good idea. “I don’t mean to pry, but are you in need of medical care?”

A soft chuckle sounded from his left. It was deep and pretty and struck Changbin as something much too beautiful to be wasted. Changbin didn’t miss the pain the noise brought with it. “I’m just bruised, not bleeding. It’s okay.” The radio was turned on and cranked up a bit, not uncomfortably loud but just enough to avoid conversation. That was alright. He just wanted to make sure there wouldn’t be any deaths in his car that night.

The first forty-five minutes of their drive was spent without conversation, the radio playing song after song. Sometimes when a specific one came up, Felix would change it. Changbin noticed the pattern when they played a popular idol’s solo for the fourth time that night. He found it odd, but maybe the song reminded him of whatever—or  _ whoever _ —hurt him. Maybe it was just an unfortunate bar fight. Changbin didn’t know, but the curiosity was high. 

Once they hit the hour mark, Changbin’s eyes zeroed in on just how empty his tank was. They could use a good leg stretch and maybe the aforementioned chips. Thank god he’d given a few rides already that night. “I need to pull off to refuel. You don’t have to get out if you don’t feel comfortable.” Felix didn’t answer, but that was fine; he didn’t miss how his grip tightened upon bag straps. The gas station had only two cars parked in front of it. This seemed to calm Felix down and his tension settled once more. He pulled up to the pump and turned the car off, pausing the navigation in his phone so he could free it from the holder on the dashboard; his keys were stuffed into his pocket. “Can I get you anything? Something other than water?”

Felix looked completely caught off guard by the question. He parted his lips a bit, and Changbin watched him wince—the cut was more than likely the culprit. The man opted for shaking his head rather than answering. Changbin only nodded in response before opening his door and yanking himself out of the car. 

The night air was a bit chilly. He took a moment to stretch, the harsh lights from above nearly blinding. It felt nice to stand and Changbin hadn’t realized how much he needed it until now. Even though Felix had said no to anything, Changbin still bought a few bottles of water, a small bag of chips, and some wet wipes. By the time he got back outside, Felix had buried his face into the bag he was holding. Opening the door made him jump and it was here that Changbin’s suspicions proved true. Fear of loud noises, bruises, and a bloody lip … he wasn’t a fool. 

“I bought more water.” The wipes were held out last. “For the blood. There’s a trash bag under the seat.” He didn’t give Felix a chance to answer and instead went to pump the gas. Hopefully he didn’t object. Changbin just didn’t want him to show up wherever he was going with blood on his face. Actually, now that he thought about it, he hadn’t even glanced at the address. He looked down at his phone and turned the screen back on. His eyes widened a bit. Felix’s chosen destination was a place Changbin had never been, but he knew enough about it from tour guides and shitty news stories. It was the entrance to a historical bridge many often went to see. 

He finished pumping the gas in silence, shoving his phone back into his pocket with trembling hands. Sliding back into his seat, he immediately spotted the open pack of wipes in the center console. Felix was just finishing dabbing at his face. He flashed a smile at Changbin as he settled into his seat. “I must look pretty bad.”

Changbin reached out to clip his phone back into place. “Well, you are pretty bruised, and I’m sure you don’t want to be bloody for wherever you’re going.” After fishing around for his keys, he finally managed to start the car.

“Mm. It won’t matter either way.”

His fingers hovered in front of his phone screen for a moment. ‘Resume navigation’ was tapped a moment later before he went to leave the parking lot. Changbin decided to try and start a conversation before the radio could be switched back on. “So, uh, what are you in Korea for? Study abroad program?”

Felix made a noise deep in his throat. “That’s part of the reason.” The words were followed by a hum. “I came to try my luck at becoming a trainee.” 

That caught his attention. “Oh? That’s pretty cool. I’m a rapper myself.”

“I thought you were an Uber driver.”

Changbin smiled. “Well I’m that too. I drive when I’m not performing at some club downtown.” 

“I’m a rapper too, kinda.” Felix hummed again, and he wondered if that was a habit of some sort.

He hesitated on answering as the GPS yelled at him to make a left turn onto the highway at least three times. “Kinda?”

“Well, as I said I’m not really good at Korean.” There was a pause. Felix’s hand came into view as he fiddled with the radio again. This time, however, he didn’t turn it up loud enough to discourage conversation. “Which is bad when I came all the way from Australia hoping I could just  _ make it _ .” 

Ah, so that explained the accent. Changbin’s curiosity only grew at finding this out. “I mean, there are a lot of resources for learning Korean. I can make some recommendations if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Another hum. The bruised hand was shifted from the volume control to simply resting on the dash. “I appreciate it, but there’s no need.” They fell into a weird silence after that. Not awkward, not comfortable, just … silence, spanning between them much akin to darkness separating streetlights. 

Changbin knew. He didn’t want to admit it, but he knew. Barely under two hours remained for their trip, and although it wasn’t really his place, he knew he had to try.

Surprisingly though, it wasn’t Changbin that broke the silence. “You said your name is Changbin, right? You’re SPEARB.” Felix sounded so excited about the revelation.

The biggest smile he’d had in a while appeared on his face. “Yeah that’s me. Safe to assume you’ve come to a show before?”

“Once, back when I first arrived.” Felix let the GPS spout which direction to go while Changbin muttered something about construction. “It was at some club I couldn’t read the name of, but you looked so cool on stage. Made me want to stand up there too.”

“You don’t have to become a trainee for that you know. I’m just an underground rapper.” His fingers flexed against the steering wheel. 

Felix laughed, followed by a small  _ hmm _ noise. “I know. I uh … read a lot about you.” He sounded shy about it.

Changbin’s smile only grew wider, if that was even possible. The rapper knew he had fans, because why else would he get rebooked for certain clubs, but it was still pretty cool to hear that someone cared enough to learn about him. Maybe he could put a good word in for him; Changbin assumed the trainee thing hadn’t worked out. “It doesn’t take much to start. Doesn’t matter if you can’t speak Korean if your flow is good.” 

“Really? Even at nice venues like yours?” Maybe he was imagining it, but he sounded hopeful.

He nodded. “Yeah! And if I’m putting the word in, the owners will gladly give you a shot. Some of them even come with free food and drink assuming people enjoy the shows you put on.” Changbin leaned back in the seat as the navigation shifted to twenty miles until their exit. There was still about an hour and ten minutes left before they reached their destination.

Felix reached for the bag of chips. His hands were relatively steady, which was a vast improvement compared to an hour ago. The man ate a single chip before answering. “It wouldn’t be any trouble?”

“Pfft, of course not. I’d just need your number and then I can send a few texts. Not an issue at all.” He held his hand out for one, because even though they’d been bought for Felix, he was still kind of hungry. His driving had begun at eight the previous night so there hadn’t been much time for food; the chip was eaten immediately.

“Mmm, I’ll think about it and let you know. Thank you.” 

Changbin didn’t push it. With the radio playing a slower song and the crinkle of a chip bag, they quit talking for a bit. This was one of the strangest trips he’d done in a while. Although the atmosphere felt calmer now, he couldn’t help but sense the anxiety going through his passenger’s body. It was barely there but it was enough for Changbin to notice. Whether Felix knew that or not was unclear, but judging from the state he was in, Changbin had a feeling he was good at picking up on emotions. 

Like the flip of a coin, the calm seemed to come crashing down. The radio played the song Felix had been avoiding all night, and Changbin’s hand shot out immediately to flip the station to something new. A glance thrown in his direction revealed the most blank expression he’d ever seen, Felix pressing a chip against his lips and eyes quivering a bit. “Hey, you alright?”

Seconds ticked by like an eternity. They were in a heavy construction zone so even though he really wanted to pull over, he couldn’t. Although it was only a minute, it felt like the tension had been there for hours. Changbin sagged in relief as Felix finally ate the chip. 

“Sorry I just … really don’t like that song.”

“You don’t have to apologize.”

The bag of chips was rolled up and stored within the glove compartment. “It’s a habit.”

Changbin sighed softly. He understood that. His experience with this exact situation came from another outside perspective. Only that person had been his best friend, and Felix was a stranger. But that didn’t stop him from understanding the range of emotions and origin of his awful state. “He’s the one,” he said, before his brain could stop it, “the reason you’re covered in bruises. Right?” 

A hum that sounded more like a pained grunt came from the seat next to him. Changbin inwardly cursed at himself from being so direct, especially after promising himself earlier that he wouldn’t pry. “Yeah, but no one will believe me.” All at once, it seemed whatever fragile strings holding Felix together snapped. The most heart-wrenching sob Changbin had ever heard tore from his throat. Despite the construction around them, he immediately pulled over, grateful that no one else was foolish enough to be driving so late at night. He didn’t hug Felix, but he did gently press his fingers to his shoulder.

Felix rubbed at his eyes frantically, hiding his face from Changbin. He felt awful for bringing forth all of the memories the poor man had probably been grappling with the entire ride. “I gave up everything to come here and try to be someone, someone that could impress him and live up to his standards and all I got was a broken heart and my chances of ever being a trainee stripped away from me!” The words were a garbled mess, ended with a hiccup and spoken so quickly and messily that Changbin struggled to keep up. “He stole my music, my life, my heart—all of it.”

Changbin had never really been good with comfort, even when his friend Seungmin had gone through this, but he tried. “You’re so much more than him.” Those puffy eyes were turned upon him and he fought the urge to reach out and wipe the tears he didn’t deserve to cry away. “He doesn’t get to say whether you’re done pursuing music or not.” Changbin opened his arms a bit, and Felix accepted the subtle invitation almost immediately, stretching across the center so they could hug. There wasn’t anything more to it other than Changbin holding him gently while he sobbed into his shoulder.

Inside, he was livid. How could someone, especially such a popular idol, hurt a person that seemed like sunshine incarnate? Changbin had only known Felix for barely two hours but even he knew the man didn’t deserve this. Eventually, the loud hiccups turned to soft sniffling, and Changbin let Felix pull away from him. The fabric of his shirt was wet from tears but he didn’t really care. With blonde hair clinging to his forehead and lips quivering, Felix let himself settle back into the seat. Changbin pointed at the bottle of water and was relieved when he took a few sips, nearly dropping it because of how badly his hands were shaking.

“People like me don’t deserve happy futures.”

"Is that something you came up with or was it your shitty ex?" Changbin's fingers clutched the steering wheel in an attempt to ground himself.

Felix hummed softly. "I don't know anymore." 

“He’s wrong, Felix. You deserve all that and more.” The car was started once more and they drove off in silence. Felix made no attempt to turn the radio back on; Changbin didn’t either. He felt like they’d had a weird bonding moment that strangers really shouldn’t be experiencing, but he also knew that Felix more than likely needed it. With only thirty minutes left in their trip, he felt like something that didn’t even qualify  _ as something _ was coming to an end.

“I told him I was done.” Changbin steeled himself for what was coming. “We fought. Well,  _ he fought _ ; I just punched the wall afterwards.” Felix laughed, but the noise sounded strained. “He didn’t let me learn Korean, said he’d translate for me. I believed him … but then I found out it was just to keep me uninformed and unable to run away.” He looked over for a moment, catching those pretty eyes looking so unbelievably tired. “I was so happy when you said you spoke English. It really helped me go through with everything.”

Changbin looked back to the road again, watching the streetlights grow more and more frequent as they arrived into the city. They were almost there. “I’ll tell you the same thing I told my friend; don’t go back. No matter what, don’t go back.”

Felix sniffled, followed by yet another soft laugh. “I won’t. I  _ can’t _ , really.”

As the bridge came into view, his GPS pointed out their destination. He glanced at the badly rendered map and followed the signs for the entrance, pulling into the parking lot with a heavy feeling in his heart. Changbin pulled into a spot and parked. “Hold on, don’t get out yet." His phone was plucked from the dashboard with a bit too much force, snapping one of the holders. Felix didn’t comment on it. Instead, he dug around for the paper and pen he knew were scattered around his car.

Changbin wrote down his number, holding the paper out to Felix. The blonde man looked a bit surprised at seeing it offered. “I told you I’d give it. Remember what I said, it doesn’t take much to get started.” Felix accepted the paper with an unreadable expression. “Everyone would love to have you around.” 

“Oh! I’ll text you once I get all settled then. Even though I’m three hours away now.” Felix laughed, but Changbin didn’t join him. Upon realizing this, he went quiet and they simply stared at each other for a moment.

Changbin extended his hand to place it upon Felix’s. “No one goes to a bridge at five in the morning, Felix. No one.” He pointed at the number. “Please, text me when you get settled.” The man let go and lifted up his phone, tapping  _ cancel ride _ where Felix could see. “Don’t worry about payment. Use it for something else.”

The surprise reflected in Felix’s face but Changbin only smiled in response. “But I … alright. Thank you, Changbin.”

Despite his hesitation towards allowing Felix to leave, the look he gave him was enough. It was small and almost barely noticeable, but Changbin could see the resurgence of hope in Felix’s eyes. Deep down, he knew it’d be okay. Even as Felix shut the door and walked towards the entrance to the bridge, clutching a ragged backpack to his chest and hands littered with bruises, he knew; he just had to wait.

Changbin waited for nearly three minutes after Felix vanished into the morning light. He didn’t arrive home until almost nine. There was still no money for food, thus Changbin ate the rest of what chips remained before passing out for nearly twelve hours. No text awaited him when he woke up, but a glance at the news settled his fears.

It wasn’t until a particularly slow night in late October that he received the message. He was sitting in his car at a local restaurant, stuffing his face with fries, when it happened. The message was an address with a cute emoji, asking for a ride and some more chips. Changbin smiled. Felix had made it through. Going to pick him up was accepted immediately.

He learned much later that his act of kindness that night had been all that kept Felix from using the bridge for its intended purpose. Changbin had suspected, but hadn’t known until the blonde man confirmed it. Putting a word in at his usual clubs worked like a charm. Soon Felix was performing alongside Changbin and his own trio, 3RACHA. He watched him improve, learn Korean, and come out of his shell. Life gained a new purpose. It was no surprise when they began to date.

With the bruises completely gone from his pretty face and the scars mending upon his broken heart, Felix found a home among Changbin’s warm personality. 

**Author's Note:**

> there will more than likely be a part two of this featuring what happened / happens after felix texts changbin!


End file.
